


I’d Go Anywhere For You

by ratb0ys



Category: Stand By Me (1986), The Body - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff, Gay, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Trans Chris Chambers, Trans Male Character, Transgender, chris chambers - Freeform, gordie lachance - Freeform, mlm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 11:31:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18738157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratb0ys/pseuds/ratb0ys
Summary: so basically. trans chris written by trans person. not sure what to put here, this is my first fic. probably update every monday.





	1. A Meeting on the Dock

Chris Chambers was abnormal in every sense of the word, and everyone knew it, everyone in Castle Rock, especially his dad and his brothers. Everyone in Castle Rock knew it as soon as they’d ask Mrs. Chambers “How’s your daughter? Isn’t she turning six soon?” and Mrs. Chambers would have to say, “Oh, he’s my son now. He was six three weeks ago.” They would turn away, thinly veiling distaste, disinterested all of a sudden. Some of them had heard about those people, they were ashamed there was one in little old Castle Rock. Disgusted.  
The only people who Chris knew didn’t hate him were his mom, too in love with her child, and Gordie Lachance. He couldn’t say much about his other friends, Teddy and Vern. They hadn’t even known until last year, hadn’t quite accepted the idea yet. Gordie had known for forever, and he was completely, utterly fine with it. Supportive, even.  
One of the many reasons Chris loved Gordie. And one of the reasons that Gordie didn’t know that.  
It would be so much easier if Chris was just a girl, like he was supposed to be. But there was something in his brain that just recoiled at the thought, that felt so much more comfortable looking and acting like a boy. He hated that part of him. Everyone else did, too. These were the kinds of things he thought about late at night, after Eyeball’s beat him up or his dad’s yelled at him or his mom’s just looked at him all disappointed-like. Sometimes he told Gordie, but he usually kept it to himself.  
It was easy when he was little, he shaved his head and wore grimy boys clothes. Kids his age didn’t know, sometimes their parents didn’t know either. He didn’t know how Vern and Teddy didn’t manage to find out earlier. He told them when it was getting hard to hide his budding chest. He ran around and worked out and did everything he could to keep them away, keep away everything that identified him as anything other than a boy, but by sixteen it was coming and by seventeen it was hard to hide. He wore two or three training bras some days, or bound his chest with bandages, which bruised his ribs. When Gordie found out he was doing that, God, it was bad. Chris stopped after that.  
Chris was lying on the old crumbly dock, long abandoned, that he and Gordie visited sometimes. He was thinking about these things and thinking about Gordie. The sun burned red against his closed eyelids, and then suddenly it didn’t. He jumped, opened his eyes, and looked at Gordie. The boy was standing above him, haloed by the sun. God, he looked beautiful. Chris wished he could tell Gordie that.  
“Speak of the devil!” Chris said. “I was just thinking about you.” He rolled onto his side to watch Gordie sit down.  
“Why were you thinking about me?” Gordie asked.  
“I dunno, man. I just was. You looking for me?”  
“Okay. Yeah. Wanted to see you.” Gordie looked down at Chris, squinting against the the light reflecting off the water behind him. Chris sat up, close enough to him that their bare knees touched. The boys sat in silence for a while, not knowing what to say.  
“Wanna swim? I’m burning up.” Gordie suggested. Chris smiled.  
“Yeah, sure.” The boys stripped down to their underwear and dove in. The water was shockingly cold. The two paddled around for a while then finally settled down and floated calmly on their backs. Chris looked at Gordie, then disappeared underwater. He could see the dark shape of the boy silhouetted against the surface of the water, and swam gently into his shadow. Then, without warning, he burst up, grabbing Gordie around the waist. The two tussled, pulling hair and laughing and splashing. Somehow, amidst all the chaos, the two ended up holding each other, toes squishing in the mud on the bottom of the pond. God, he’s so pretty, Chris thought. He looked at Gordie, who’s cheeks were pink, getting pinker every moment.  
“I, uh,” Gordie stuttered, “I gotta get out.” He stumbled through the water and climbed up onto the dock, leaving Chris dumbfounded and cold without Gordie’s body heat. Chris followed slowly, letting the boy collect his clearly scattered thoughts. He didn’t even look at Gordie until he was walking down the dock, leaving behind wet footprints. Gordie was sitting on the edge, his shorts back on and his legs dangling over the edge of the rotting dock into the water.  
“Did I do something wrong?” Chris asked, words tinted black with worry. He pushed his hair back out of his eyes and slicked it against his skull like a greaser. Gordie looked at him, brows furrowed.  
“No.” He said. “No, I just...” his words trailed off. Chris sat down next to him.  
“You what? C’mon man, you can tell me anything.” Gordie looked away, blinking. Chris put a hand on Gordie’s back, rubbing his spine gently.  
“I’m not supposed to think about you the way I do.” Gordie said finally. Chris shifted back, looking at Gordie.  
“And how’s that?” Chris’s voice was almost a whisper. Gordie looked at him, scared.  
“I want... I want to kiss you, Chris. I have since we went to see Ray Brower’s body.” He turned his head, his face hot. Chris pulled Gordie’s face back toward him gently.  
“Shit, man,” he said, “so’ve I.” He smiled wanly. “Can I?” Gordie looked around, even though no one ever came down there anymore, and nodded.  
“Yeah. I’d like that.” Chris leaned in first, planting an innocent, close-mouthed kiss on Gordie’s lips. Neither of the boys, although they were seventeen, had been kissed before. Chris never thought his first kiss would be with Gordie. Hell, he thought he’d never be kissed at all, unless it was by an easy blackout drunk girl at a party or someone he met someplace like Augusta or New York who had never seen him before, knew nothing about who he really was. He never thought it would be a boy, and certainly not a boy he’d loved for five years. Gordie giggled a little, it was cute and small and it made Chris smile.  
“Can I kiss you again?” He asked. Gordie nodded. Chris took it a little further this time, pushing the boy down on the dock and climbing on top of him, pressing a hot sweet kiss to Gordie’s lips. The two broke apart, laughing. Chris looked down into Gordie’s eyes, two little pools of melting chocolate with dilating pupils in the middles.  
“You’re so pretty, Gordo. I hope you know that.” He said, and Gordie blushed and smiled that sweet little smile he had. Chris loved that boy, the one who stood even shorter than Chris, Chris who stood at a whopping 5’6” and a half. He brushed away a drying lock of Gordie’s hair from his face and left his hands resting on Gordie’s cheeks, thumbs rubbing little circles into his skin.  
“Do you want to run away with me?” Chris asked suddenly. Gordie looked up at him, concern creasing his face.  
“Sorry, that was dumb. Spur of the moment thing.” Chris amended. “It’s just… there’s nothing for me here. There’s nothing for us here. This tiny town with its close-minded people. It’s 1965, Gordie, this has gotta be okay somewhere.”  
“If we ran away, where would we go?” Gordie asked.  
“Well,” Chris’s face lit up, “We could go down to New York! Nobody knows us there, and it’s a big city. I’m sure there’s some safe place for us.” Gordie didn’t look completely convinced.  
“I’ve been working, I’ve got some money. You have a car, you can drive us down there, it’s not far.” Chris continued, “I’m just tired of being stared at like a freak. People can kinda tell, Gordo. I don’t look like a normal boy. But I’m not leaving you. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” He looked down at Gordie, who had his eyes closed, thinking.  
“I’ll go with you.” He said, finally. Chris smiled, a bright, sunny smile. Gordie reflected it back at him, then gently lifted his face to kiss Chris. “I’d go anywhere with you.”


	2. Driving Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordie and Chris leave Castle Rock

A week had passed since Gordie and Chris had made their plans on the dock. The two met up there once a day at high noon, swimming and laughing, sharing soft kisses, ironing out their plans to run away. Gordie collected all of his money (a little over 100 dollars) and filled his tank with gas. Chris also emptied his bank. Together the two had around 300 dollars. They were going to sleep in Gordie’s car until they could find an apartment they could afford.   
It was everything Chris wanted, and it was more. The boys were going to meet up at the dock, and they were going to leave the small town of Castle Rock behind. Notes were left on counters and taped to refrigerators, not saying where they were going, but keeping their faces off milk boxes. Hopefully.  
Chris’s note read: Dear Mom: I hope you understand why I had to leave. I’m sorry. To Dad: I will not miss you.   
Gordie’s note read: Mom and Dad: I’m leaving today. I probably won’t come back - there’s no reason to. Maybe I’ll write you, or send a postcard. Don’t worry about me. Good bye.  
And so it was, the boys slipped away unnoticed from their families and their small lives in Castle Rock.   
Chris didn’t know how long it took for his parents to realize he was gone. He didn’t care. He was leaving with Gordie, the only person he truly cared about. Gordie, in the driver’s seat of the car with the sun shining through the dirty windshield onto his face. Gordie, who he’d loved for five years. Gordie, going to New York with Chris just so he could be safe and happy.   
Chris looked at the boy, admiring the way the sun bounced off his hair and turned it a hundred shades of brown. His skin was glowing in the light, his faint crooked smile endearing. Chris smiled.  
“I’m really glad you came with me, Gordie. Sincerely.” Gordie turned and smiled at him.  
“Me too. I never realized how much that town held me back until I left it.” He looked back out at the road. “I feel like my whole future just opened up in front of me.” Chris nodded. He knew the feeling.   
The boys drove for a while. Every time they had the chance to stop and admire the view they did. They had tramped through the woods for a while before discovering a small open meadow. The grass was soft under a blanket, and the boys kissed and held each other for a while in the secrecy of the woods, ignoring roots and rocks digging into their bones. Chris has never been happier than then, holding the boy he loved gently, Gordie’s face buried in Chris’s neck.   
“I don’t think I’ve known happiness till now.” Chris said. Gordie looked up at him, then settled back down, closer than before.   
“I know I haven’t.” He said, his voice muffled.   
They stayed in the woods for what felt like hours before they had to get up and travel. The blinking lights of New York City appeared in the distance a little bit after dark. Gordie stopped the car on a hill a little ways away from the small suburbs. The boys spread a blanket on the ground; it was a warm night and neither wanted to sleep in the car. Cars honked down below them, no doubt grumpy fathers who wanted to get home for dinner, but Chris and Gordie were in their own world, far above the noise and business of the city. Chris looked at Gordie, whose face was illuminated gently by the white and red city lights.   
“You’re so pretty.” He said. “Have I told you that?”  
Gordie laughed. “Yeah, you have. It’s okay though,” he rolled over onto his back, looking at the stars. “You can tell me that anytime.” Chris rested a hand on Gordie’s small chest, feeling his heart through the thin fabric of his shirt. He grinned. The two fell asleep that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so i’m posting this two days early, i finished it and it’s pretty short anyway so. enjoy.


	3. It’s Been a Rough Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am so so sorry

It was midnight. Chris and Gordie didn’t know why they were awake until the rain really picked up, morphing from small drops to big splatters that soaked their hair and ran into their eyes. The two ran to Gordie’s car, balling up the wet blanket they had been sleeping on and throwing it into the back seat.   
“Dammit,” Gordie said, “we can’t sleep in this car.”  
“Why not?” Chris asked.   
“There’s not enough room for both of us.”   
“Sure there is. You sleep back there and I sleep up here. Unless you don’t want to sleep back there.”  
“No, it’s not that.”  
“You don’t want to sleep with me?”  
“I want to sleep in a bed.”  
“Gordie, we don’t have the money for that, or the time to look for a place.”   
“I know.” Gordie looked frustrated.   
“You can go back to Castle Rock if you want.” Chris turned his face so Gordie couldn’t see into his eyes.   
“Without you?”   
“I’m sure as hell not going back. Why would I?”  
“Do you not want me here? Because I’ll go back if you want me to.”  
“Why would I ask you to come with me if I didn’t want you?”  
“I don’t know, but it sounds like you don’t want me here anymore.”  
“I think it sounds exactly the opposite. Have you decided you don’t want this? Don’t want me? Is it because I’m trans? You want a real guy? Decided you’re not really gay? Tired of being a fag?”  
“No! God, Chris, you’re not listening to me!” Gordie was about to cry.   
“What are you saying, Gordie? What are you saying? Because I don’t think it’s anything I want to hear.”  
“Chris, I-” Gordie started. Chris swung the car door open, stepped out into the rain, slammed it shut.   
“I don’t want to hear it!” Chris yelled, and he left Gordie to cry in the car by himself.

 

Chris didn’t know where to go, so he just walked. He walked for an hour or more, reached the city at least. There were more people there than he had ever seen in his life. None of them looked at him or even seemed to notice him. Nobody spit at him, nobody mumbled foul words at him. He wasn’t followed by “There goes that Chambers kid,” nobody knew his name. It was overwhelming.   
Chris wandered for a while, the emotions of what had happened between him and Gordie growing stronger. Finally he had to sit down. He found an empty stretch of wall a little bit down an alley and sat against the graffitied bricks. He cried for a while, smudging warm tears all over his face. He sat there for a while, wallowing in regret and guilt. To say he didn’t like what he had done was an understatement; he was ashamed of himself, he had hurt the one he had cared for most in the world.   
Chris didn’t know how long he sat against that wall. The sun was high in the sky before anyone even looked at him. It was a kindly looking old man, tanned from years outside and with crows feet around his eyes.   
“You okay there, son?” The man asked, his voice husky.   
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’ve had a rough day.” Chris managed to smile up at him.   
“I can give you a lift, if you need.” Chris nodded and stood up. The man led him back to his truck, old and beat up. Chris liked it. The inside smelled of tobacco.   
“Where ya headed?” The man asked.   
“I’m looking for a friend of mine. I’m not sure where he’s at right now but I’ll recognize his car.” Chris said. The thought of seeing Gordie presented conflicting feelings: Chris’s heart leapt and his stomach sank. He knew he had hurt Gordie, but he was the peacekeeper, right? He hoped Gordie didn’t stay mad at him for too long.   
“You’re lookin’ awfully troubled there, son.”  
“Am I? I’m just… just thinking.” Chris said. He looked out the windows at the monotone buildings. None of the cars looked familiar.   
“Wait!” The old man jumped and looked over worriedly. “Sorry. That’s his car, you can let me off here.” The truck slowed to a stop, and Chris opened the door to hop out.   
“Is there any way I can repay you?” Chris asked. “You’ve been so kind.”   
“No, son. I’m just happy to help. Good luck with that friend of yours.” He smiled.   
“Thank you, sir!” Chris shut the door and waved as the man drove away. He then turned and trudged toward the hotel that Gordie was presumably staying at. He opened the door. The front counter was right in front of him, there were hallways off to the sides and an elevator to the left of the counter. He went up to the desk.   
“Hi, I’m looking for a Gordon Lachance. Is he staying here?” He asked, dropping his voice on instinct.   
“Yes, he’s staying in room 217. It’s right down that hall.” The girl pointed down the hall to the left.   
“Thank you.” Chris started off down the hall, nervous. He found Gordie’s room, wiped his sweaty palms on his pants before knocking on the door.   
“Who is it?” Gordie’s voice was muffled by the door.   
“I think you know.” Chris said.   
“Go away.” Gordie said, his voice petulant.   
“Gordie, please. I’m sorry about what I said earlier.” The lady at the desk was looking at him oddly.   
“I don’t want to see you.” Gordie said. Chris was close to tears.   
“Gordie, please let me in. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. Just open the door. The girl out there is looking at me weird.” There was silence for a while. Chris was about to leave when the door cracked open. Gordie’s eye, filled with tears, peered through the crack. Chris smiled despite himself.   
“I’m sorry.” He said again, looking at his feet. “I messed up.” Gordie opened the door the rest of the way and stepped out into the hallway, wrapping his thin arms around Chris. Chris exhaled audibly, hugging Gordie tightly. The two stood like that for a minute, then Chris looked back over at the front desk. The lady had her head cocked, squinting quizzically at the boys. He laughed. Gordie looked up and giggled too.   
“Let’s go inside.” Chris said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ended up pretty long and i’m uploading it kinda late sorry bout that also i didn’t really proof it so if there’s mistakes just. ignore them.


End file.
